Growing

Sometimes I feel I need to grow up. I have been woefully inadequate at things like taking care of myself, of my money, of the bills, of my VSO. I do things I like to do and put off the things I'm not fond of. That is a childish way to do things. Some people say they have good news and bad news. Which to hear first. Well I am prone to pick the good news and leave the bad news till tomorrow or next week or whenever. Of course when I see one of the kids doing it or my VSO doing it I get frustrated. But I find it easy to forgive myself for procrastination. Till now. And now is the time to change it. Here goes.

6:00 AM

Damn that's early. I swim at 6:20 AM. That means I get up at 6:00 AM. I am not swimming today. I got about 3 hours of sleep last night and just barely have the steam to type. Anyway there is always Friday.

6 is a good number for getting up though. At 6 the sun is up but not screaming "hot day" yet. At 6 the traffic outside the house has not gotten insane yet. At 6 you can hear birds instead of dogs and kids. At 6 you can actually appreciate a cup of coffee. At 6 McDonalds is already selling the sausage biscuit you shouldn't be eating. At 6 it's too early to do business and therefore it's a relaxing time. At 6 there is no reason to hurry(except on swimming days). It is a good number. Of course if you went to bed at 3, then not so much.

One of the truly lovely things about getting older is that I am pretty aware of how much I don't know. And I am aware of how much other people don't know. Like the idiot who drives so wrapped up in conversation that it takes him a full minute to move when the light turns green. There is a word for that I won't say. And like the idiot who doesn't know where he is going so he goes 15 mph down a road and slows at every turn, only to go back to 15 mph when it's the wrong one. And the idiot who parks right on the line in the parking lot, effectively taking up 2 spaces. And the idiot who has his stereo turned up so loud he couldn't hear a horn being blown at him. And no one else can hear anything either.

As to how much I don't know. One thing I have learned is that if I don't know, I can find someone who does.

And I have learned to appreciate what I have. My life, health, kids, grandkids, very significant other, home and the beautiful area I live in. Not bad.

Dad

My daddy was a civil engineer. I say this first because he was first and foremost a man who was more comfortable with numbers than with people. He was a truly fine man who believed that anything worth doing was worth doing right. He loved to build things at home and as his only son(joke) I helped him. He taught me to appreciate history, classical music(but not opera) and sweet wine(1 small glass a week). On Sunday after church we had a nice meal, Mom read a book, and Dad listened to his music, had his one small glass of wine, read a book, and petted his mustache. He was not a talker.

There were times when Dad surprised me. Once we went riding in an old Willie's Jeep owned by his company. We went up and back down a ravine filled with boulders and when we got down I needed to potty and he was glowing with pleasure.

We got a boat when I was 18 and Dad proceeded to learn to water ski. Wow was I impressed.

Dad hated calculus.

Dad got his Masters Degree in Engineering at 40.

We went for a ride one slightly rainy Sunday when I was older and checked out the strip mining in Morgan County. I was sort of surprised at how much he hated to see the forests and rivers torn up. I've always been a tree hugger and I may have gotten it from him.

Dad made the best salad dressing ever. And Slaw.

Mom used to fry fatback to season greens with the grease and Dad and I would fight over the pieces.

We used to argue about Darwin, history, some politics, and democrats. I won't tell you more. You'll have to guess.

Dad was a very quiet Baptist.

Dad loved me.

The Breath of Life

I am still 63 years old. Yesterday my X turned 65. I will be 63 for another 3 weeks. Every year we were married I made a big deal of that age difference. Now it is just not important.

I discovered that I would not be able to do 64 if I didn't change my ways. I have spent the last 20 years sitting most of the time. The job I had for half of that time was a sedentery job and I hated it so it also raised my blood pressure and caused a huge case of depression. So after being let go last September, I worked on stuff in the house that needed doing and thought I was doing better with the movement thing. However I discovered that I still had very little energy. Did the protein shake thing and added several pounds but no more energy.

Now. Being one of the laziest persons in the world, I figured that the extra 16 pounds I had gained would go away once the protein shakes went away. Yeah. I know. Dumb.

So I took stock. Bad back. Huge chest. Knees not so good. Breathing not good at all. And above all I hate, hate, hate to sweat. What to do. Well I finally figured it out. I am swimming laps at the YMCA in the morning at about 6. I started Tues and have been 3 times. I was able to swim about 16 lengths of the pool. I was so winded after each length that I was resting longer than the swim took. You can imagine me hanging onto the end of the pool gasping for breath and wondering what the heck I was thinking.

I had joined the YMCA. $67. And with the equipment and bathing suit, another $150. OMG. I have paid out half my life savings just to start this self abuse. So I will not quit. I did discover that taking a day off is a good thing. It was easier to breathe and swim today. Unfortunately there is a mirror that I have to walk past to get to the pool so that is another good reason to keep it up.

Now for the worst. Buying a new bathing suit is the worst thing in the world. Women make fun of the experience. I have found that they do that to keep from crying. I had to get a larger suit and I tried to get into some that were way too small. Dangitall. I hate swimsuits. But they won't let me swim naked.

I am now going to do a couple of things I haven't had the energy for. And I'm going to pat myself on the back!!!!!!!

Hello, again.

New roof is on. Crews are gone. Now my VSO and I stand outside and watch rain just to see it come down the downspouts. It pours out. It is such a beautiful sight. Of course, I have to wonder if it is worth the money. But when I think about the leaky bathroom and the mold that lives there now, I begin to appreciate the roof. And the temp is supposed to be 90 this week for more than one day. In fact the weather has been quite hot and muggy already this week. So I suppose it's time to appreciate 18 inches of insulation. The entrance to the attic is in a closet in the studio. And the workman insulated the door so now even the studio will be cooler. The best thing to me is the cooler. I even went so far as to choose a light color of roof tile. Good for the environment you know.

OK. Now that the roof is done, the windows look dingy and I think they need painted and washed. I just now am beginning to understand why I need a new outfit when I have purchased a new pair of shoes or a handbag. It makes the other things in my closet look just a little bit worn or out of date. Of course with my infinite fashion sense, I can always go out and get another black pair of pants or top. After all, black goes with everything but 90 degrees. And now that my house has a new crowning glory, I think the landscape and paint look like they need help. So in the fall when it cools off, landscape and paint will be a priority. You couldn't catch me working in the yard in drippy sweat weather.

So what to do now? There is always a new pair of shoes or handbag!

Change can be good/or not

My very significant other and I live in a house that needed a new roof. So much leakage, gutters falling apart, etc. So I contacted a contractor to come and install a new roof. After settling between 3 estimates, I contracted the work to be done, roof, guttering, gutter cover, and attic insulation. Now doesn't that sound wonderful?

Well, my very significant other, who is very much my junior, and I were tickled to get the work done. Until we found out that they would be here 7:30 AM until 9:30 PM. The dogs got to go out in the morning but for the rest of the day they were stuck inside, freaking out at every thump. Our terrific Standard Poodle will go out front with me and stay in the yard. But the Corgi needs the fence in the back because she's a little untrustworthy and with the gate always open, she might run off.

So Thursday morning they started on the roof. The job was fairly large because of the size of the house. But we figured 2 or 3 days. We had to make some adjustments to the way we are doing things. Felt we should be here while they are working. And there is no way to park in the driveway, or to get to the freezer with the truck in the way, or to bring groceries home with the steep hill we would have to climb to get them into the house.

It's Sunday now. They are here. They left at 9:30 last night. My VSO is going nuts, not quietly. I think the appropriate word is "bitching" and I, so far have held onto my good nature. Today is Sunday. Today is the day I let go of the good nature and commence to complain. After all, I am 63 and I tire easily. And I'm tired.

I'm tired of the banging. I'm tired of the stuff laying all around the house. I'm tired of being cooped up inside, with the bitchy VSO and the antsy dogs. I'm tired of the next day coming with more people here. Tomorrow, they are supposed to do the gutters. I would love to think that by Tuesday we will be left alone. It is amazing how much I have grown to love solitude. I love my VSO but right now he is just another big pain in the ---.

I have always prided myself about handling change well. I am almost excited when something new happens. I'm always looking forward to planning things. Well this experience had changed my viewpoint. I had thought at one time that we might have VSO and his uncle put hardwood floors on the first floor of the house. That is now a joke. I just want it done as fast as possible. And not for a while. I need time to recouperate and to beat the VSO into a bloody pulp.

Growing older-gotta love it!

Graceful again

My finances have picked up a bit and I celebrated. With a new pair of glasses, a new pair of prescription sunglasses, a dozen doughnuts(which I ate every one of) and some new books. Now I can see very clearly, even in the sun. And I can swear off doughnuts for a few years. And I can sit on my doughnut enlarged butt and read books to my heart's content. Ain't gettin old fun?

on a previous blog

On a previous blog I received an unwelcome comment from a doctor advising me to take medication for dieting. While I have considered many weight loss options, this comment does not reflect either my intentions or the thrust of the blog. I do not endorse and rather condemn this comment. If you read it please do not atribute it to me.

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