Choices

My 71st birthday was the 7th of July. I have decided I'm a little bit boho. But, sometimes the choices are hard to make. Carol(Melissa) is one of my favorites and her look here is fabulous. But There are so many choices. Part of the meaning of Bohemian is that societal norms are not as important as being an individual who is content with themselves. So more choices.

Do you get up sometimes and want to be classy, fancy, romantic, cute, fashionable, etc? I do. I've always admired a woman who has a "look". But I can't decide what look I could do every day. Also, some of the looks I admire wouldn't be as attractive on an overweight body. I'm not saying that being overweight is unattractive but that some things just don't work as well. For instance, I have a big bust. Always have. And a relatively short neck. So when I look down at scarf or jewelry on my front, large things seem to stand out. Like a neon sign. Maybe viewed from the front they don't look bad, but from up here(eye level) they look too big.

 Then there is the lovely white-haired woman who does a great job with makeup. And with hair style. Things might look entirely different on me, no makeup, short graying brown hair. Love the look, just not on me.

 There is also sort of a problem with me wanting things to wear that are budget killers. Like this simply wonderful pink ensemble with a vaguely Asian flair. I'd give anything to have an outfit like this. I might not look so good in it. But I wouldn't care.

And there is the natural woman. She knows herself well and is able to play to her strengths. I totally envy her.

I'm stuck here making choices and my choices have a lot to do with how I feel about myself every day. My best option I think is to get dressed and look in a mirror. If I smile when I see myself I have a good day. Good choice.

Learned

Now that I am 70 years old, I have discovered me. My childhood was not one of those happy healthy experiences. My mother suffered from some personality or emotional difficulties. And then I married a man who had his own set. I thought I was the one who was not healthy and, indeed, that was true to an extent. But the problems I have had all of my life are based on a set of assumptions that make no sense when examined. I thought I was basically flawed. Not so. I am basically good and have a few flaws.

And I thought I couldn't take care of myself and needed the spouse to take care of me. Again, not so. I ended up with a very young man who had problems every bit as troubling as mine. And for a long time I took care of us both. I thought I wasn't likeable or loveable. Don't you know, another falsehood. My young man has grown to love me . We have been together 27 years and we are still strong. I thought love must be temporary. Nope. It can endure. I thought I was stuck with my faults and personality problems. Amazingly, I have found they can be dealt with.

And now I am happy. But I have learned to be happy. Happiness doesn't just drop in one's lap. It has a lot to do with one's view of life. I've been through a lot. And I survived. And flourished. I thought I could go back to situations and change them. Nope. But I don't choose to forget the past. But rather than feeling sorry for myself about difficult times, I choose to look at my survival, growth, learning, and victory as what has made me grateful, happy, and comfortable with me. Boy have I been lucky!

Done

I'm still growing old but doing it on only one blog. Just another day on earth. Thanks for your support.