Ya never know

I've got a couple of things to say about my status. One of them is that I seem to be retaining food. I'm diabetic as you all know. For some reason I've had trouble dropping my love and devotion for sweets. Then my slim and gorgeous boyfriend brought home 4 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. I don't like the thin mints and that was two boxes but the other two are gone and the mints are in the freezer. I'm going to throw them away if he doesn't want any. And I also ate all of the honey buns I got him to take to work. Damn. I just got the idea to go on a diet. A couple of weeks ago. And I'm doing worse than ever. So today I'd like to talk a bit about self-sabotage.



I'm chronically tired. I'm sure some of the problem has to do with my eating habits. I'm still able to register some decent blood sugars most of the time. But I'm also anemic and have a lot of pain. Tired.
There may be a lot of things I can do about this but I'm not doing them. I wonder if a lifetime of self loathing has harmed my ability to take care of myself. I have noticed that when I look at myself in the mirror before showering, I sort of skip over the part from the chin down. I'm always happier when I get my clothes on because stuff is less obvious. Don't get me wrong, I still look fat, but not as bad.

Today I'm going to the grocery store. Last night I got out a couple of high protein books and I'm searching out recipes. It's time to start doing what I should have done a year ago. 5 years ago. You just never know when you must learn new tricks.