Some days are older than others

This pic is from my other blog. I am without makeup and not smiling. For the last weeks I have been fighting a lot of pain. And sometimes I just lose it. Like this last weekend. I went to the doctor Wed. I am scheduled for an MRI tomorrow and then back to the doc next tuesday. I have been having more trouble with the meniscus my left knee. And I have been feeling the spinal stenosis as well. I want to do things and my body laughs at me. Every step I take is painful and sitting is too. A heating pad helps a little. I am hopeful the meniscus is just torn and can be easily repaired. The doctor will tell me when I go back. Until this is taken care of, smiles may be few and far between. Just be glad you don't live with me.

This is me, soon

I went to the doc yesterday and started the process of getting my knee cut on. I have a torn meniscus. Left knee. At least I think that's what it is. Anyway, next Tuesday I get an MRI. The next Tuesday I go back to the doc to find about the plan, whatever that is going to be. And after the surgery, I'll have a couple of days on the sofa with ice on the knee and probably some adequate meds to keep me from being too mean. I had the other knee done 3 years ago. It isn't life threatening but it certainly is a bother.

Then there is the puppy. Cheyenne is about 40 pounds of rompin stompin energy now. Keeping up with her needs will be interesting. But at least I'm not doing this in the middle of the summer.

I talked to the doc about rehabbing the knee. We have decided that since I have a membership(largely unused)to a health club, I can proceed with my plan to walk the pool. It's 5 feet deep and the deepest and I'm tall enough to make it. I think it's a good way to do some aerobic exercise without putting a lot of stress on my joints. I am not a joiner so going to a class is not something I want to do until I know more about it.

I'm still working on my plan to lose some weight. I now have some help and there is now another problem. I am compulsive. Not just with my eating but with buying stuff off the internet. I shopped some when I was younger. I enjoyed it. But after having the back problem crop up, and then the knee, I don't go out much. But you could spend a year's salary on the internet and never break a sweat. Drink a cup of coffee and spend a couple of thousand dollars on stuff I don't need. I haven't done that yet. No, I'm doing it gradually. A book here, a pair of shoes there. You'd think I had money. But I guess I would if I didn't spend it so quickly. So that is another compulsion to work on.

I'll be back with news soon.

My knee

I have been told I don't look 65. I try to keep myself up and look nice and not frumpy. But no one told my knee that it isn't supposed to be 65. I had surgery on my right knee a few years ago. I had my meniscus trimmed where it was torn. The surgery was day surgery but the whole thing was a total bummer and I hated every minute of it. So I wasn't a happy camper when I began to realize that the left knee is bad now. I'm sure it's the meniscus but I will have to see the Dr. and have an MRI and find out the extent of the problem. I'm sure to be off my feet for a few days and with a puppy that will be a pain in, well, a pain in the knee. Right now I can't kneel on my left knee even in the soft bed so I'm sure I need help.

I am also glad to see Spring. I found it hard to get through this winter. I was really affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder. The dark, cold days were very depressing to me. So I am glad to see Spring. Maybe I can sit in the sun and recuperate from the surgery.

OK I lied

If you look closely at the photo of me you will see that I am terrifically well endowed in the upper chest department. What you don't see is visible when you compare my current pic with the one on the blog main page. And then if you go lower you'll find that my belly is large enough to look pregnant. My hips in the back are football size and there isn't much of a butt. There are just huge upper arms, a lot of extra weight in my neck and on the back of my shoulders. There are rolls everywhere.

I lied when I said I was not growing old, gracefully. I have fought the battle of the bulge for 47 years or ever since I began choosing my own meals. I was in college when I singlehandedly changed the freshman 5 to the freshman 15 pounds gained. And you probably wouldn't have called me thin to start with. I was fairly normal in size for my height. Things became radically worse for me weight wise when I had my first child and gained 51 pounds. The yoyo started then. I was able to lose most of the weight but never again did I feel slim and attractive. During the rest of the time I was married I had 2 more children and didn't gain much weight. But in between, I went up and down. I tried Weight Watchers, Adkins, low protien and high carb. I tried exercise clubs and just swimming or walking. Alas to no avail. One thing I do excel at is quitting.

I am afraid now. I have the belly fat that the doctors say causes heart attacks and strokes. And knowing that hasn't made me do the weight loss that I need. There are a huge number of things I want to do. The weight, paired with the spinal problem and the knee problem is hindering me and causing me to be tired, in pain, and generally down. And the weight is making the knee and back worse. I am in pretty bad pain a lot of the time to the point where sleep isn't easy to come by. I need structure and I don't have the money for even weight watchers. I did try Jennie Craig and found it very expensive and very hard to stick with. So as a last ditch attempt, tomorrow I am going to Overeaters Anonymous to a meeting. I know about OA from having fought the AA battle. I am not an alcoholic but during the ending of the marriage that was where I ended up. Everyone needs help sometimes. I need it now. I need to discover how to overcome the eating addiction and put some joy back into my life.

I will not break anonymity. I will not discuss anything on the blog about the OA experience except to share with you who read the blog what is happening to me as a result of the meetings. I will be happy if someone with a similar peoblem is helped. But I will be writing about the experience to help me. I really need it.

I found some pics

Exercise at home. What a concept. I read all the time that the more muscle you have the higher your metabolism. So I guess laziness is out for a while.

There are a couple of exercises that may need some explanation. One thing is, if you don't have hand weights, a couple of Campbells chunky soup cans work nicely. I have found that if I do something often it isn't a bad idea to get the real thing. But if you aspire to be superwoman you can always life gallons of milk. This works for the exercise lying down. That particular one is supposed to work on your arms and upper chest.

The exercise with the ball can be done with a footstool. I don't recommend using anything with hard edges for obvious reasons. Likewise the push up exercise. I just can't do push ups at the angle the model is doing them. So I go into the bathroom and use the edge of the counter. The kitchen countertops are too high. If you are already pretty strong why not try the edge of a chair, coffee table, or bench. Just make sure they are very sturdy.

The hip lift is supposed to be good for the stomach and back and I am going to do a lot of that one. Also, while in the bathroom or kitchen I grab the edge of the counter and lift my body till I'm on my toes. Can't hurt to have great legs.

I hope there are a few of these things that might be helpful.