Oh the joys

There are times when I think I'm all together. I've discovered the crutches I can use to get by. I've grown up in the ways I can. I've refused to grow up in other ways. I saw a saying that ways getting old is not for sissies. Well guess what! I'm not a sissy. However, I'm a procrastinator in a major way. And I've found that isn't working for me any more. I'm getting old. I thought it was a dirty word. It's not.

I don't fear death any more. When I had my almost 14 year old standard poodle(best friend) put to sleep I saw life cease. End. Stop. And I was devastated. But she had stopped doing anything but sleeping. She lost half her body weight and didn't eat. It's really hard to decided to end another life but I had to do it. In the meantime my life has become more painful and I refer to physical pain. I have diabetes, a bad back and bad knees. I have diabetic neuropathy. I have a lot of fat and I'm tired all the time. That is enough to make me ease off on the fear of the end. But I have a wonderful man who adores me, a dog that thinks I am wonderful, another dog who licks me and loves me, 3 children, 4 grandchildren, and 2 inlaws, and some friends who make me feel needed and wanted.

I also have a sense of humor. And an interest in learning and creating. And a need to caretake and to love others. So I'm still in the plus column in a big way. I also have learned a lot. I try to use the things I've learned and to share when asked. I try to live in a way that is kind to all living things(except ants)  and to care for the planet. In short, there are a lot of things left to do. And a lot of giggles to be had.

I've been collecting funny things and I send them to my kids. And I reread them often. Laughter is a fabulous thing. So cleansing.

So there are drawbacks to growing old. But Oh the joys.