To grow old or not to grow old

 I'm getting older every day. I just had a birthday. And you know what? I don't feel any different. I loved to rock as a young mother and I still do.

I have discovered one of the best things about getting older. My give a ____ factor has dropped considerably. I have a lot of physical complaints but I'm so excited to still be alive that I don't care. As long as I'm able to smile about the ridiculous things that happen with aging, I'll be OK. For instance, I used to drink prune juice just because I like it. See, it's fun to look at things that way. I used to take a nap because I needed it. Now I like it. I used to make the bed to make the bedroom look nicer. Now I do it so the covers don't fall off in the floor. Bending over and picking them up is a pain in the back, literally.

 I wanted to be a hippie. I wasn't sharing a marriage with someone who could get with that program. And this is where the factor comes in. I am no longer married to that person and in fact, am happily with someone else. Rather than throwing away all those dreams, I just put them off and now that I'm not so young, I'm following that road less traveled. It's such an interesting change. Like a breath of fresh air. I cleaned all of the woulda, coulda, shoulda things out of my mental closet and I'm trying for the wanta things.
If I mess up, too bad. I've done it many times before so I know I can get up and fix what's broken. My kids are adults now. They are able to make up their minds about things and I don't have to like it. Well, turn about is fair play. I can make up my mind and not worry either.

One of the things I finally understand is that my mom was also out there a bit. She in no way was the run of the mill mother. Nor did she change when the grandkids came along. Well, this ride I'm on will take me outside of the norm. But then I've never been comfortable trying to be in the norm so that works out. If it hadn't been for several things that have occurred in my life, I would not feel free enough to go with the flow. Better late than  never.