Disgracefully

I am amazed. I'm 70 now and I don't feel any different. At all. Oh, the back hurts more and the knees hurt more but that happened before 70. If anything, I'm relieved to have reached this advanced age. And I've learned so many things along the way. Such as the fact that thin skin happens. No matter what you do to stop it. Tanning went out for me a long time ago. My dad died of melanoma so no tanning for me. I have lost weight, not due to my own devices. And skin now waves around like eddies in a stream. It's sort of cute, if you like that sort of thing. And some things are harder. I spend a little more time staring at the open fridge or pantry trying to remember what I opened it for. What I wanted to eat. Did I eat already? What time is it anyway? Should I be hungry? Oh, well, I'll come back when I remember.

In some ways I'm more organized. I write things down. Several times. And sometimes I remember where I laid the list. I've tried to keep it near my bag so it goes to the store with me. And sometimes it works.

Little things don't bother me much anymore. My son has gone his own way with wife and kids and doesn't have time for me any more. My response? Their loss. I'm sending gifts to the kids but I'm not in touch with him much. I texted him to text me back Happy Birthday. Finally he did. Some day he'll get his act together maybe. Till then the two girls and my fabulous boyfriend are so good to me.

I've added one fantastic thing to my life. When I was married I had a sis in law and bro in law that I rarely saw. Not my doing. Anyway, 25 years later we have finally gotten together and become family. It seems that my husband was the barrier and we just overcame it. Knocked it down, kicked it aside, and joyfully started getting to really know each other. It has been earth shattering for me. I'm a true introvert and have a lot of trouble socially so having family come back into my life is the best thing ever.

Getting old is not what I thought it would be. I don't have different interests. I still like rock music, and classical, and big band, etc. I still love art. And craft, and reading, and color, and light, and fashion, and anything new I can learn. I still love to go to the mountains, and the lake, and sit by a fire, and smiles and gratitude. My dogs are my kids now. Sometimes they even mind.

I've heard that you grow old because you quit playing. I don't think I'll quit any time soon.