How to do it.

I find that I am more than ever concerned about fashion. Of course that may be partly because I am more than ever not happy about my body. I am definitely in the morbidly obese range and I am facing a Catch-22 conundrum. I feel bad about the way my body looks without clothing. And I am not pleased with the way it looks with clothing. I feel really depressed when I see the pics of myself. I remind myself that this is what others are seeing when they look at me.

So I want to try to make some changes in those two things. But I said I feel bad, remember? And I feel depresses, remember? Depression is one of the biggest parts of feeling tired all the time for me, and maybe for you. I am on an antidepressant. I am also on thyroid meds and other things. Some may cause the weight to stick like glue. But I am also so in love with the sofa that I don't want to get off of it. Not that it is so comfortable, but the overcoming of inertia is really difficult. I am looking at this problem from the perspective of age now.

Fashion-Age These are two things that I don't put together. But I have discovered that Age does go along very well with style. And since I am not good at style I am using a method to help myself along.

1. I cleaned out the stuff in my closet that doesn't fit well, doesn't feel good, is shabby, is worn out, or I just don't like.

2. I am left with a lot of things that make me feel fat but at least they are presentable. And as time goes by I may figure out what to do with them.

3. I have looked at lots of fashion mags(I love them). And I have lamented that the models are toothpicks. For real. But I finally figured out how to use some of the things I find in there. I just take a pic of something I think is pretty, tear it out of the mag. I post it on a clipboard in my closet. And I start looking for things I have that might help make a copy of the look. Of course, I can't let my expectations get too high.

4. I have discovered that there are some looks that I like a lot which will require a change in my body. I am hoping that will be easier now that I have set goals.

5. I have also discovered that while some of the young things whose blogs I follow can go out and purchase stuff at full price when they want to, I simply can't. I also follow some blogs of girls who are thrifters and that is the way I shall have to go. I love vintage but there must have been no heavy women in the 40's. Of course, since I can sew, I plan to make a couple of vintagy pieces.

So far, this is where I am. Suggestions are very welcome.

Don'ts from About.com

Don'ts

1. Don't get too skinny (think Nan Kempner, who looks like a "Best dressed" bag of bones) and don't gain too much weight!

2. Don't wear baggy, shapeless clothes.

3. Don't wear ditsy and fussy prints like tiny florals.

4. Don't wear overdone, fussy styles or details (gold buttons, gold trim, etc.). They are terribly aging.

5. Don't think you have to wear skirt suits to look well dressed. Even though they may be "in," some skirt suits can be very aging. Pants are generally much more youthful, so a better choice would be a pantsuit or a pant and coat ensemble.

6. Don't shy away from all black. It looks great, especially when textures are mixed: leather, crocodile, patent, fur, vinyl (this lightens it up a bit and gives it life).

7. Don't expose your upper arms and neck: these are both tricky areas for most women over a certain age.

8. Don't wear your skirts too short.

9. Don't overdo the grooming. Helmet hair, and too much color -- red nails, red lips, eye shadow and blush (especially when used together) -- are terribly aging.

10. Don't think you have to cut your hair: a chic ponytail always looks smart and youthful.

11. Don't wear fussy, frilly evening attire. Go for tailored instead!

12. Don't wear shawls (too granny) or capes.

13. Don't overdo the glitz! Despite the fact that maximalism is in right now, you don't want to look like a Christmas tree.

In short you will find that many of the rules of dressing your age are common sense and have a lot to do with wearing things that are attractive on.

Oh the pain

Well, if I needed more info I have it now. The Doctors told me I have Spinal Stenosis. That was some time ago and I never thought much more about it. But now I have discovered that the weight I gained back has become pain in my joints and back. Back to the plan. I had gone hog wild with sweets and food in general. I now know that eating the way I was before the diet started has put me into more pain now than I had then. Age I guess. So I am going back to low fat, high protein, complex carbs. It is the easiest way for me.

I have been reading that a man restricted his calorie count to 1800 a day but ate only twinkies and such. He lost a lot of weight. And his cholesterol dropped. Apparently the calories have more to do with the weight loss than previously thought. I am happy to hear that except I don't have a feeling of energy when I eat sweets. So for me it is interesting but not a problem. I need protein to have any sort of energy. That is what I'll have.

I never said not growing old was easy.

There used to be

I loved the song California Dreamin. I could fantasize about being at the love-ins in San Francisco. I could just see long flowing hair and lithe bodies dancing with flowers in their hair.

And I used to dream about being gorgeous and well put together with money and great taste. Again, I would be beautiful like Angelina and have a lithe strong body that looked great in clothes.

Now I dream of seeing the grandkids, of making it upstairs with some of my breath left, of having a strong heart that just keeps going like the energizer bunny. And I look like the above photo.

Dreams are just that. Dreams. In order for them to come true it takes work. Go figure.

Love is where you find it

I love Spring. I love 60's and 70's music. I love trees. I love lakes, oceans, wind, dogs, cats, eating fish, colorful flowers, floral scents, green plants, mountains, streams, blue skies, the sounds of the ocean, learning, reading, making things, my children and grandchildren, my wonderful partner, big strong trucks, the 1961 E Jaguar convertible, the Volks bug convertible, finding a bargain, lots and lots of jewelry, handbags, shoes, good health, a beautiful smile(like Brian's), Forsythia, a ride in the country, going out to eat, having a good hair day, having a good day in general, my friends, and color, lots of color. I love being almost 65 years old. After all I am still alive to say it. I love being a mother. I love having lost 14 pounds. I love rain, in almost all forms. I love storms.

I love having a long list of things to enjoy in my life.

Today

Yesterday I was able to accomplish many things that needed to be done in the house. I get tired, I sit. Pain comes, I sit. However in a couple of minutes, I get up and go on about my business. This is the answer to the problems of being a lousy housekeeper. Before, when tiredness or pain came, I sat. I didn't get up. Now I do.
I find that looking around the house and seeing things that need to be done does not allow the restful sitting that I used to do. Now, with my increasing age and blurring vision, the things that bother me about the house are bothering me more and more. I wonder if I finally figured out that they wouldn't go away if I just sat.

We had some snow and lots of ice, sleet and rain. This began Friday afternoon. It was talked about all week. Well, I usually go to the grocery store sometime on Wednesday and get the week's stuff. That was what I did last Wednesday and this time it was a madhouse. I could hardly get through the store. Lots of things were sparse or completely gone. And amazingly enough, most of the people there were older folks. Not many younger women or men were shopping. Thursday must have been the day for the younger folks. There must be a thing about waking up to snow and not having a staple in the kitchen. Like it can kill or something.

I have been reading some books about looking terrific over 40. A good idea!!!!! And there are more body types in the books than in the books for younger people. However, I have yet to see a good representation of the folded body type. You know the one; folds of fat front, back, and on the sides. The books all say to nip the garments in to create a waistline. So what do I do with my belly?

Still looking for the easy path to weight loss.

Hale and Hearty

I have spent time looking at several glorious examples of maleness. My daughter asked me to tell her the top ten. Please do not date me by my answers. 1. Sean Connery 2. Mark Harmon 3. David Boreanaz 4. Brody Jenner 5. Brad Pitt 6. Eddie Ciprian 7. David Beckham 8. Hayden Christiansen 9. Jake Gyllenhall 10. David Boreanaz. Mark Harmon, Mark Harmon. Of course I got carried away. But I find my range of enjoyment far exceeds my age range. Isn't it wonderful that we can enjoy Carter Oosterhouse hammering and nailing, Steve McQueen and Paul Newman and Robert Redford just doing what they do, and all this through the magic of television. I am glad I don't need to limit my appreciation by my age.