Main Move: Wall Bridge

Lie on back

 with butt againstwall, arms at sides, knees bent, feet planted 3 to four feet up wall. Exhale and peel lower and mid back off floor keeping shoulder blades down so body makes a nearly straight line from shoulder to knees. Hold for a deep inhale then exhale and roll down. To make it harder cross one foot over the other knee.

12 Easy Ways to Slash Your Cancer Risk (and Your Waistline!)

Cancer is one tricky widget. But you can decrease your risk for many forms of cancer by following these healthy tips

By David Zinczenko with Ted Spiker, Women's Health

Find more

• Boost Your Omega-3 Intake With These Foods
• The Ultimate Stress-Busting Foods
• Delicious Cocktails That Wont Bust Your Diet
  

Trim the Fat

The more fat you eat, the greater your risk of developing a highly fatal form of cancer. In a study of more than 500,000 people reported in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, those who ate the most fat (about 40 percent of their daily calories) were 23 percent more likely to develop pancreatic cancer than those who ate the least (about 20 percent of their cals). Limit fat to 20 to 35 percent of your calories—about 40 to 70 grams total in an 1,800-calorie diet.
Go For Yolk
Research in 2009 suggests that egg yolk may be cancer-protective. The yellow stuff is rich in choline, which has been linked to lower rates of breast cancer. One yolk delivers 25 percent of your daily needs.
Do food labels lie? The truth about those serving sizes
Hail a Cabbage

Each 22-calorie cup of cabbage is loaded with sulforaphane, a chemical that increases your body's production of the enzymes that disarm cell-damaging, cancer-causing free radicals.

From Men's Health--- More to come

Humor

I truly feel this way sometimes.

And this way.

This one is self-explanatory. I am never without things to pray for. I find in my age that prayer and humor are both very good for my soul. I'm going to post a few pics that indicate my love for dogs. Or actually all animals. And I hope, if you get a laugh, your heart is better for it.

I have spinal stenosis

I sometimes go to Google to find out what the newest is on the health issues I have. I found that there is a difference between cervical and lumbar stenosis. I'm not sure what that is. I'll be exploring further. But there are some things that are recommended for the treatment of stenosis from WebMD.

• Education about the course of your condition and how to relieve symptoms.
• Medicines to relieve pain and inflammation, such as acetaminophen and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs).
• Exercise, to maintain or achieve overall good health. Aerobic exercise-especially riding a stationary bicycle (which allows you to lean forward)-can relieve symptoms.
• Weight loss, to relieve symptoms and slow progression of the stenosis.
• Physical therapy, to provide education, instruction, and support for your self-care. Physical therapy helps you learn stretching and strength exercises that may lead to a decrease in pain and other symptoms.
  
   Web MD is a great source of overall info. I'm now taking an anti-inflammatory to help with the pain and it does seem to be working. As for weight loss and exercise, I seem to have a huge mental block against both. I did go to physical therapy but it was focused on my knee due to the surgery I'd had. And it did work for the knee. I am sorry to say that I was appalled at the cost of the therapy. Even though the Medicare and additional insurance paid, I am not going back unless it's necessary. My treatment was about 300 dollars, 3 times a week. I am just appalled. And glad I have insurance.
  
  
  
  

I have high Cholesterol

At one time my blood cholesterol was 347. I am told that under 180 is much better. Not there yet. I'm taking meds but there are some more things I'm doing. Here is an article explaining some of them.

Cholesterol: Top 5 foods to lower your numbers

Diet can play an important role in lowering your cholesterol. Here are five foods that can lower your cholesterol and protect your heart.

By Mayo Clinic staff Can a bowl of oatmeal help lower your cholesterol? How about a handful of walnuts or even a baked potato topped with some heart-healthy margarine? A few simple tweaks to your diet — like these — may be enough to lower your cholesterol to a healthy level and help you stay off medications.

1. Oatmeal, oat bran and high-fiber foods

Oatmeal contains soluble fiber, which reduces your low-density lipoprotein (LDL), the "bad" cholesterol. Soluble fiber is also found in such foods as kidney beans, apples, pears, barley and prunes.
Soluble fiber can reduce the absorption of cholesterol into your bloodstream. Five to 10 grams or more of soluble fiber a day decreases your total and LDL cholesterol. Eating 1 1/2 cups of cooked oatmeal provides 6 grams of fiber. If you add fruit, such as bananas, you'll add about 4 more grams of fiber. To mix it up a little, try steel-cut oatmeal or cold cereal made with oatmeal or oat bran.

2. Fish and omega-3 fatty acids

Eating fatty fish can be heart-healthy because of its high levels of omega-3 fatty acids, which can reduce your blood pressure and risk of developing blood clots. In people who have already had heart attacks, fish oil — or omega-3 fatty acids — reduces the risk of sudden death.
Doctors recommend eating at least two servings of fish a week. The highest levels of omega-3 fatty acids are in:

• Mackerel
• Lake trout
• Herring
• Sardines
• Albacore tuna
• Salmon
• Halibut

You should bake or grill the fish to avoid adding unhealthy fats. If you don't like fish, you can also get small amounts of omega-3 fatty acids from foods like ground flaxseed or canola oil.
You can take an omega-3 or fish oil supplement to get some of the benefits, but you won't get other nutrients in fish, like selenium. If you decide to take a supplement, just remember to watch your diet and eat lean meat or vegetables in place of fish.

3. Walnuts, almonds and other nuts

Walnuts, almonds and other nuts can reduce blood cholesterol. Rich in polyunsaturated fatty acids, walnuts also help keep blood vessels healthy.
According to the Food and Drug Administration, eating about a handful (1.5 ounces, or 42.5 grams) a day of most nuts, such as almonds, hazelnuts, peanuts, pecans, some pine nuts, pistachio nuts and walnuts, may reduce your risk of heart disease. Just make sure the nuts you eat aren't salted or coated with sugar.
All nuts are high in calories, so a handful will do. To avoid eating too many nuts and gaining weight, replace foods high in saturated fat with nuts. For example, instead of using cheese, meat or croutons in your salad, add a handful of walnuts or almonds.

4. Olive oil

Olive oil contains a potent mix of antioxidants that can lower your "bad" (LDL) cholesterol but leave your "good" (HDL) cholesterol untouched.
The Food and Drug Administration recommends using about 2 tablespoons (23 grams) of olive oil a day in place of other fats in your diet to get its heart-healthy benefits. To add olive oil to your diet, you can saute vegetables in it, add it to a marinade, or mix it with vinegar as a salad dressing. You can also use olive oil as a substitute for butter when basting meat or as a dip for bread. Olive oil is high in calories, so don't eat more than the recommended amount.
The cholesterol-lowering effects of olive oil are even greater if you choose extra-virgin olive oil, meaning the oil is less processed and contains more heart-healthy antioxidants. But keep in mind that "light" olive oils are usually more processed than extra-virgin or virgin olive oils and are lighter in color, not fat or calories.

5. Foods with added plant sterols or stanols

Foods are now available that have been fortified with sterols or stanols — substances found in plants that help block the absorption of cholesterol.
Margarines, orange juice and yogurt drinks with added plant sterols can help reduce LDL cholesterol by more than 10 percent. The amount of daily plant sterols needed for results is at least 2 grams — which equals about two 8-ounce (237-milliliter) servings of plant sterol-fortified orange juice a day.
Plant sterols or stanols in fortified foods don't appear to affect levels of triglycerides or of high-density lipoprotein (HDL), the "good" cholesterol.

I have tried to get to the under 180 mark with a combination of meds and diet. Next is added movement. I only wish it was under 90 degrees here so I could move outside. Way under 90.

Maybe I need to review

Raise Metabolism

1. Build muscle. Since fat is burned in your muscle, you want to activate as many muscle fibers as possible. Weight training increases lean muscle mass, which raises the amount of calories your body uses, even when you're at rest. What's more, since there's less fat in your body (and your muscles), blood moves better so you have more energy -- without eating more food. So if you haven't been incorporating strength training into your fitness routine, now is the time to start!

2. Start eating! "Your body is a 'refuel as it goes machine,' which simply means it needs to be consistently fed to provide energy to live," explains Mark MacDonald, author of the bestselling book Body Confidence. "This type of consistent feeding stabilizes your blood sugar levels and creates internal hormonal balance" -- and that keeps you from packing on the pounds. His advice: Eat within an hour of waking to kick-start your metabolism. Then keep eating every three to four hours ending an hour before bedtime.

3. Nosh on protein at every meal and snack. Protein has a greater metabolic boost than fat or carbohydrates. Biting, chewing, swallowing and digesting food takes energy -- it's known as the thermic effect of food and it can burn up to 30 percent of the calories on your plate. The more complex the food (think steak, legumes and fibrous vegetables), the more calories you burn as it travels through the digestive tract. Protein also contains leucine, an amino acid that prevents muscle loss when you're dieting. A simple strategy: For a quick and easy snack, keep peanuts in your pocketbook, trail mix in your desk drawer and hard-boiled eggs in the fridge.

4. Get moving. Interval training with bursts of high intensity cardio will stoke your metabolic rate and keep it humming for hours. So instead of logging in your regular half-hour on the treadmill at a steady 4.5 mph pace, try the interval option or hit the road and take advantage of changes in the terrain. Run in the sand or up hills and use landmarks to signify a change of pace. And squeeze in extra calorie burning whenever you get the chance, advises Gerbstadt.

5. Drink water. Studies show that people who drink 8-ounce glasses of water eight to 12 times a day have higher metabolic rates than those who drink four. Want to lose an extra 6.6 pounds a year? Drink half a liter of water before breakfast. According to researchers at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Va., people who downed water before their first meal of the day consumed an average of 75 fewer calories at breakfast than those who didn't drink up first.

The above is from a source found on MSN and I have totally forgotten where. But there are a few comments I need to make. I saw on the news the other day that a researcher in Britain said drinking a lot of water isn't good for you and could make you stop losing weight. I can't find out anything more about it so far. If anyone knows more, please let me know. 

I also have been hearing more and more about tuna, salmon, and sardines being really good for healthy hearts. Any more info on this is welcome.

There has been some buzz that interval training is not good for those with heart problems. A Doctor can speak to that issue. 

I'm still trying to find the best things for me. Any good ideas that I find I'll share.

A not uncommon occurence

When Americans Think of Regrets, Love Tops List

Over time, missed opportunities outweigh mistakes, study finds

By Jenifer GoodwinHealthDay Reporter

TUESDAY, June 28 (HealthDay News) -- Whether it's the great guy who got away or the dead-end relationship that went on way too long, regrets involving romance are most commonly cited by Americans when asked about things they wish they'd done differently.
Researchers at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign surveyed 370 adults aged 19 to 103 about their regrets. Each was asked to describe, in detail, one decision they came to rue.
About 18 percent cited regrets involving romance. That was followed closely by regrets about family (16 percent), education (13 percent) and career (12 percent), finance (10 percent) and parenting (9 percent).
Women were more likely than men to have regrets about romantic or family relationships. About 44 percent of the regrets described by women were about relationship mistakes compared to 19 percent of men's.
"It speaks to something psychologists have known for a long time. Women are typically charged with the role of maintaining and preserving relationships, so when things do go wrong, it's very spontaneous for women to think, 'I should have done it some other way,'" said senior study author Neal Roese, a psychologist and professor of marketing at Northwestern. "It's how men and women are raised in this culture."
Men, on the other hand, were more likely to have regrets about work or education -- 34 percent compared to women's 26 percent, the study found.
Many of the regrets around work involved missed opportunities -- turning down a job instead of going for it, failing to take risks that could have led to a more fulfilling career. "There was a sense of frustration that a job doesn't reflect inner passion," Roese said of the study recently published online in Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Those with less education were more likely to have education regrets. And those with more education were more likely to have career regrets.
"As people rise higher in our culture, there is a perception of greater opportunities," Roese said. "Paradoxically, the more opportunities you have, the more ways you can see how you could have gotten more . . . Opportunity fuels the regret experience."
So does this mean you should quit your desk job to realize your dream of working with horses or sailing the world?
Maybe, Roese said. In the survey, people were free to describe a short-term regret or a regret that lingered a lifetime.
Short-term regrets tended to be about things people did -- say, accidentally hitting "reply all" on an email, or forgetting to call Mom on Mother's Day.
But the long-lasting regrets were more often about things that people didn't do, such as never expressing their feelings to a loved one or taking a career risk.
"When you look to the recent past, you are more likely to kick yourself for blurting out something inappropriate at dinner or buying something you couldn't afford," he said. "When you look back at your own past to long ago, you are more likely to see things you should have or could have done. A lost love. A job you could have had."
Over time, people rationalize their actions, explaining away their mistakes, Roese pointed out. But when it comes to inaction, people forget the barriers that kept them from taking the action -- they only remember that they didn't try.
"When people reflect on the past, which is what regret does, we ruminate about the things that didn't go well but we don't savor the good times," said Joseph Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago. "We are much more impacted by the negative stuff."
And though regret can be painful, a life without regret isn't only near impossible, it would lack a fundamental emotion that spurs people to avoid future mistakes.
"Regret is an essential part of the human experience," Roese said. "You should listen to the lessons your regrets tell you, which is quite often how you could have done things differently or how you could change things."
Everyone makes mistakes, Ferrari added. "It's how you get up, and how you rebound, that matters," he said. "Instead of letting regret dominate life, savor what you do have, and what did go right . . . We need to look more in terms of our strengths, and not our weaknesses."

This article is copied from MSN and I wanted to include it all.

At 25 I didn't have a lot of regrets. I had a marriage, a college degree, a baby on the way, and a decent life. I lived in the hippie days and I loved being fairly young and what I thought was in love.

At 35 I didn't have a lot of regrets. I had a marriage, 3 children, a husband I thought I loved, a home on the lake, some friends and a future with my family. My father had recently passed away but I was doing OK.

At 45 I had a ton of regrets. My life had imploded, my husband and the children were no longer living with me. I had drunk myself into ridiculous behavior. My mom had passed away. I lived with a young person who had not committed to me. My future--- well there wasn't one I could picture. And all of this terrible time had happened in the last 5 years.

 At 55 the regrets had nearly killed me. They hung on like spider webs to a moth. The things I had done to my children no parent would want to look back on. The young person was with me still but fully committed and yet I still lived in the past and in the regrets. For some reason he wasn't enough to get me past the terrible times I had inflicted on those I loved. 

At 65 I still haven't outlived the regrets. They have followed me and caused me to live in anguish and fear. They have inhibited my ability to feel joy and contentment. In short, they are my next goal. I must rid myself of them. I must.

I think it isn't uncommon for us as older people to have regrets. I think we need to constantly insert a leavening agent into the mix so they  don't control our lives. For instance, I am in my 22nd year with my younger person. I love him to death and he shows his love for me in many ways. Though I don't feel I deserve it, my children show their love also. I feel like I fought my way through the fire to get to where I am. I wouldn't have had my current love without all that went before. I have done everything I could think of including years of therapy to rise above the bad behavior in my past. Regretting it isn't helping at this point. I wouldn't be who I am without having gone through the fire. So maybe my first order of business is to concentrate more on the accomplishments and less on the regrets. I have an ongoing love, a resolve never to lose myself again, and a will to continue to be a loving and kind person instead of a selfish and self-centered one. 

Regrets seem to be a part of life. But learning what is important from them is also a part of life. That I will celebrate.

I am still learning.

Raise Metabolism

1. Build muscle. Since fat is burned in your muscle, you want to activate as many muscle fibers as possible. Weight training increases lean muscle mass, which raises the amount of calories your body uses, even when you're at rest. What's more, since there's less fat in your body (and your muscles), blood moves better so you have more energy -- without eating more food. So if you haven't been incorporating strength training into your fitness routine, now is the time to start!

2. Start eating! "Your body is a 'refuel as it goes machine,' which simply means it needs to be consistently fed to provide energy to live," explains Mark MacDonald, author of the bestselling book Body Confidence. "This type of consistent feeding stabilizes your blood sugar levels and creates internal hormonal balance" -- and that keeps you from packing on the pounds. His advice: Eat within an hour of waking to kick-start your metabolism. Then keep eating every three to four hours ending an hour before bedtime.

3. Nosh on protein at every meal and snack. Protein has a greater metabolic boost than fat or carbohydrates. Biting, chewing, swallowing and digesting food takes energy -- it's known as the thermic effect of food and it can burn up to 30 percent of the calories on your plate. The more complex the food (think steak, legumes and fibrous vegetables), the more calories you burn as it travels through the digestive tract. Protein also contains leucine, an amino acid that prevents muscle loss when you're dieting. A simple strategy: For a quick and easy snack, keep peanuts in your pocketbook, trail mix in your desk drawer and hard-boiled eggs in the fridge.

4. Get moving. Interval training with bursts of high intensity cardio will stoke your metabolic rate and keep it humming for hours. So instead of logging in your regular half-hour on the treadmill at a steady 4.5 mph pace, try the interval option or hit the road and take advantage of changes in the terrain. Run in the sand or up hills and use landmarks to signify a change of pace. And squeeze in extra calorie burning whenever you get the chance, advises Gerbstadt.

5. Drink water. Studies show that people who drink 8-ounce glasses of water eight to 12 times a day have higher metabolic rates than those who drink four. Want to lose an extra 6.6 pounds a year? Drink half a liter of water before breakfast. According to researchers at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Va., people who downed water before their first meal of the day consumed an average of 75 fewer calories at breakfast than those who didn't drink up first.

I have decided that this is a good list of things to do if possible. Unfortunately, I am one of those who copies things like this from the Health segment on MSN and then doesn't do all that I can to follow the guidelines. I have always been a water drinker. But you know, I'm realizing that just because I have a large glass of water around doesn't mean I drank it. I don't pay attention to how much is actually going in.

I also have started to move around more. I am so sedentary that my picture could be in the dictionary under the word. I am doing physical therapy and that is a big change from just sitting but it isn't nearly enough to have an aerobic benefit and to build muscle. I began in the pool. And I love the pool stuff. But now I am working on some non-water machines and they are much harder. I am pushing myself a little to try and build. But I'm aware there is a lot to do to build muscle.

The eating thing isn't as easy as it sounds. Just eating won't do. Eating things that are good for me. I'm exploring that with my daughter the chef who has lost 60 pounds. And yes, she is a real chef. Anyway I am learning from her. It helps and I'll share things I find with you.


I love steak. Well cooked on the grill. And I love low fat hamburger meat. And I am looking for a good recipe to share with you guys. Soon!

I went from too little to too much

I keep thinking there must be a happy medium in life. I have decided to quit looking for it however, because it is taking too much effort. My physical therapy at the Results Therapy Center has been a true life saver for me. I was looking at becoming a cripple in that I had a terrible time moving about. The knee had healed badly and my spine was the worst it has ever been. Constant misery. But I am happy to say that the trips to the therapy center and the work I have been doing is a huge help for me. I am moving about much more easily and am even more willing to get out and do things. I used to love to shop. But that was many years ago. Since I got a computer I had begun to shop almost totally online. But you know what happens then? No walking. No feeling items to see if they are what I really want. No trying anything on. And the shopping has resulted in a mound of money spent on things I really can't use.

Now I am getting out for short shopping trips. A run to the grocery store is a short shopping trip. But I am not ready for the after Thanksgiving madhouse. Now I am doing some stuff outside in spite of the really and truly hot weather we've had. Now instead of laying around, I'm sitting around. I am amazed at how the apathy and lack of stamina snuck up on me. My mother used to tell me that she had emphysema and I didn't believe her. Sure she had smoked for 54 years. But she was short of breath just walking to the kitchen. Now I've discovered that I was at least partially correct. I am short of breath after climbing the steps to the upstairs in my home. I find myself putting off trips up the stairs because of that. But it's good for me to go up stairs. I need to do more of it, not less. Or at least work toward a happy medium.

The problem of too little to too much is coming into play. I have a dental appointment today. Tues, Wed, and Fri I will go to the Physical Therapy sessions. All of these things are happening in the middle of my day. My energy levels are not such that I could put in a full day of activity yet. So when do I do the things I need to do? At home? Both inside and outside the house? The happy medium would be nice if I could just get there.

The true me

This pic of me is probably the most like what I am right now. You can smile for the camera. And you can put on make-up and nice clothes. You can do your hair. You can look your best. But sometimes behind the smile and the other stuff is an exhaustion and a depression, a feeling of failure and loss. So you can then continue to spiral downward. I was drowning in self-pity at one point in my recovery from surgery.

Then I started doing something I have spent most of my life trying not to do. I certainly don't think of this as a surprise to anyone else. My physical therapy has broken the barrier for me. Before when I thought of exercise I thought to myself-- this is too hard. I am so out of shape I'll never be able to do it. Then I walked into the therapy center and saw the pool. I am a water lover from way back. A Cancerian-but not crabby(well maybe crabby). My children swam competitively and I love a good Chlorine smell in the morning. But, I was so out of shape. So very flabby. Then I started the water exercise program. And over the last 3 weeks things have begun to change. I look forward to going to the therapy sessions and getting into that water. I no longer care that my body looks awful. I no longer feel overwhelmed by the whole exercise process. I have discovered my way out of the doldrums. Water. I know this is not the answer for everyone. But I feel so much better now I couldn't go back. I also know that I lose interest in things easily. But I've been blogging fairly regularly for a while now. Who knows? Maybe this is a turning point for me.

I've also discovered a difference in this attempt at exercise for another reason. I'm not trying to get a good body. I've abused and misused what I had for many years. I think there is a statute of limitations on getting better looking through exercise. My goal at this point is to feel good and be able to do things without feeling worn out. In other words, to have the energy to enjoy life. And I can tell it's coming. I woke up smiling a couple of days ago. And I've started listening to music again. Before, any noise bothered me. Too tired to deal.....

I think now the most important thing is happening. I have hope again. If there is a problem and there is no hope of finding an answer, depression follows. But I have hope. That smile in the pic above is both tired from before and hopeful for now. I am not trying to hurry the process I'm in but I plan to enjoy it. I guess, for me, that's the important thing.

Just an example

The time since my surgery has played havoc with my mind. I'm in pain a lot but that isn't the only problem. The meds for the pain make me tired. The pain makes me tired. The -----pounds of fat I'm carrying make me tired. So instead of looking like the top witch I look more like the bottom one. I went to the therapy center today and the pool is actually a life saver. I'm a water child anyway. I feel better in water than anywhere else. So the pool at the therapy center has become a haven for me. I did more exercise today than I have for a long time. Of course I was tired afterward. And in some pain. But after a rest at home, I'm able to say I am feeling a lot better.

I didn't understand why I was feeling so depressed. I never factored in the results on no movement and hurting on my chemical balance. I think I should begin to look at my body as a whole thing, not just a knee or a back. I know there are people out there, even young ones, who understand about the mind and body connection. I didn't connect it till today. I'd been hearing about yoga to help women relax enough to become pregnant. And I had neglected to look at the connection between stress and physical pain and depression. Categorizing isn't  helping me much. So after putting in some good workout today and now feeling better, my mind is more clearly defining what I need to do. I have had a membership at a gym for a while. I do believe I will start to use it since they have a pool similar to the one at the Results Therapy Center. That way I can do more and get more result. Yes I do know not to overdo.  Maybe my improved state of mind is partly because I feel as if I actually did something today. Whatever the cause, I am happy for it.

It's not a joke

I'm sure you recognize Frankenstein's monster. Well, that has been my nickname for the last month. I found out that my kneecap had migrated west. Not where it's supposed to be. So I went to the Physical Therapist. I had not intended to do that because the last therapist I went to didn't do much. This one, however, told me about the knee thing, taped it up in a really wierd way, and it is on the mend. So the monster walk will soon be better. He is giving me exercises in the pool and out to work on the knee and on the back problem. And it is already working though I just started.

I have, therefore, been not growing old, and definitely not gracefully.

Cholesterol darnit

Here, here! Let's hear it for a diet which can help manage cholesterol. And let's hear it for shellfish, avocados, and marinara sauce. Those things and several others have been tested as part of a cholesterol control diet, according to Men's Health magazine. It's a good thing I now have the list because my honey has high cholesterol. He has started to try to eat more healthy things. Above are 2 things on the list which are also on his list of faves. Especially avocado and raw oysters. Also on the list are low fat beef, and baked potatoes.
The article doesn't say anything about women so I'll go with the men's diet for now. Especially since almost everything on it is a favorite of mine.

Back from the Brink

I almost gave up on Spring, on feeling good, on being well and happy. But I can look at yellow this year and grin, big.

I went to the knee Doctor and I am doing great. The surgery was a week ago. I'm happy.

There have been some personal issues regarding my emotional health and happiness that I had been eating to solve. I used the last few days of convalescence to try to find out solutions and I have made progress. I had a talk with my sig other and made my feelings known. He listened. Wow.

I got out some of the summer boxes today and found that some things I really wanted I got last year and didn't use. Yippee!!!

I really believe that I can change my life by just being more aware and not trying to cover my feelings.

I need to go now to plan some meals. G'day

Things that make me go "Huh?"

I read that gas will be 40 per cent higher this year. Will the oil company profits be 40 per cent higher too? Who keeps up with that sort of stuff? I want their phone number.

MSN has included Jennifer Anniston's dating status on it's front page along with world events. Am I missing something? In what way does someone's dating status matter in today's world.

As a person on Medicare, I am hearing about changes in the health care system with fear. The Repubs don't want to do away with tax breaks for the rich(themselves) but we can do away with Medicare. I again think I'm missing something.

I used to love looking at fashion mags. The beautiful clothes were like looking at art. Now I look at the "must haves" and I am appalled. A $450 handbag is a must have? A pair of skinny jeans? Has anyone looked around to see how many people can actually wear skinny jeans?

There is an ad on TV about plastic water bottles. I drink tap water. I don't buy plastic water bottles. If there are so many being purchased, why is there not more info on recycling them?

There are now enough awards shows for the acting community that if the money for their fancy dresses were spent on food, we could easily feed a third world country.

Why is there still a Bin Laden and Khadafy?

Any answers will be good to get.

The government

Shut-down looming. I've decided that I will not vote for any of the congress persons that are in there now. They don't have our best interest at heart....... only theirs.

Saving the knee

Workouts for Arthritic Knees
7 workouts that are easy on knees (and what to watch out for)
by Martica Heaner, M.A., M.Ed., for MSN Health

Q. I feel limited in my ability to exercise with arthritis. What are some workouts that I can do with arthritis in my knees?

A. You may have a wider array of fitness options than you realize. Some people think that the only safe exercise is swimming or stretching. But that’s not the case, and even those can also strain the knee.

What you should be on the lookout for are the key stressors for your knees: Some exercises or movements may be painful because they bend the knees too deeply, twist the knees, or put too much body weight pressure or impact on the knees. Sometimes you’ll know right away if a move is potentially harmful: You squat deeply in a yoga move and ouch! But some workouts might feel stressful when a simply body-positoning djustment is all you need to relieve the joint stress.

Different types of knee problems may react differently to various modes of exercise. So tread gently but experiment with a variety of possible activities. Whatever type of exercise you do, it’s important to make sure that you position your body in the ways least stressful to your knees. Here are 7 workouts that may work for vulnerable knees:

1. Muscle-strengtheners
Certain exercises that target the muscles in your butt and thighs can improve range of motion and strength in the knee joint. These might use body weight only (such as a lunge). Some might use resistance in the form of dumbbells or other weights or resistance bands. But you need to make sure that you perform them correctly so that you do not strain the knees when you do them. I’ve written about how to safely perform squats and lunges, exercises you might do in a fitness class or when following a fitness DVD at home. When you use added resistance, always start easy and work up to heavier loads gradually. Your muscles should get stronger with a small dose of resistance exercise. As they do, you can gently increase the load to help them become even stronger.

2. Walking
Some people with achey-knees find it difficult to do higher impact exercise like running or boot-camp style exercises that involve jumping. Sometimes simply exercising in new, quality sneakers on a shock-absorptive surface (sprung wood floor or dirt path instead of concrete) can minimize knee stress, allowing a person to run. But if jumping is not an option, walking may be. Of course some people with knee problems also find it tough to walk, too. Experimenting with newer walking sneakers and a good walking surface can help. But if not, that’s OK: You still have plenty of other options.

3. Cycling
Riding a bike is a low-impact option that allows you to get a cardio workout without bearing any body weight on your knees. But this option isn’t guaranteed to be stress-free because, whether you’re riding an outdoor bike or an indoor stationary bike, if the seat is not adjusted to fit your body, cycling can still strain your knees. Usually people have their bike seats too low. I’ve written about how to spot and fix a bike-seat problem.

4. Cardio machines
Your knees may feel fine on some cardio machines, but not others. Your options include rowers, steppers, elliptical trainers, upper body ergometers like arm cycles and rope-pullers, as well as treadmills and bikes. Most machines allow you to adjust the speed and resistance, or intensity level, of the workout. It might be that you can safely use the machine at lower speeds or easier effort levels. Or it might be that you can use a machine for 20 minutes, but your knees start to ache at 25.

Some machines may bend the knees more than others. And some may have a motion that is more ( or less) stressful to the knees. The Cybex Arctrainer, for example, distributes it’s resistance in a way that may be easier on your knees. So this machine may be a less stressful variation of elliptical trainer/stepper. Experiment with different machines and the aspects of each workout that you can vary like resistance and speed to see if you can identify the formula that allows you to exercise comfortably.

5. Swimming or Aqua Exercise
People tend to assume that swimming is the safest workout that you can do for your joints because the buoyancy of the water gives the body so much support. It’s cushiony, for sure. But like every other workout, the specific movements you do in the water will still affect the stress your knees feel. In fact, the frog-like leg kick in the breaststroke actually puts torque, or slight rotation, on your knees that can be aggravating. The straighter-leg flutter kick may be a better option.

Aqua aerobics workouts or those that use foam water tools to do exercises may be easier than on-land cardio or resistance workouts.

6. Stretching
Stretching can help increase the range of motion in stiff joints. So workouts that include lots of flexibility exercise like yoga, Pilates or basic stretch classes are a good option. But as with any workout, avoid assuming that all stretches are safe. Just because they are slow doesn’t mean they can’t hurt your joints.

And there are certain poses you may wish to avoid as they tend to put excess strain on the knee joint. These can include cross-legged positions like the lotus pose, or moves where you bend your knees deeply—especially when you sit or lunge with your body weight bearing down on the bent knee.

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/pain-management/arthritis/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100271016>1=31004

I ran across this article on my MSN home page and have copied it for you. I am going to have surgery on my knee Tuesday and am on the lookout for anything that can help me get moving again without angering my arthritis that I just found out about.

Some days are older than others

This pic is from my other blog. I am without makeup and not smiling. For the last weeks I have been fighting a lot of pain. And sometimes I just lose it. Like this last weekend. I went to the doctor Wed. I am scheduled for an MRI tomorrow and then back to the doc next tuesday. I have been having more trouble with the meniscus my left knee. And I have been feeling the spinal stenosis as well. I want to do things and my body laughs at me. Every step I take is painful and sitting is too. A heating pad helps a little. I am hopeful the meniscus is just torn and can be easily repaired. The doctor will tell me when I go back. Until this is taken care of, smiles may be few and far between. Just be glad you don't live with me.

This is me, soon

I went to the doc yesterday and started the process of getting my knee cut on. I have a torn meniscus. Left knee. At least I think that's what it is. Anyway, next Tuesday I get an MRI. The next Tuesday I go back to the doc to find about the plan, whatever that is going to be. And after the surgery, I'll have a couple of days on the sofa with ice on the knee and probably some adequate meds to keep me from being too mean. I had the other knee done 3 years ago. It isn't life threatening but it certainly is a bother.

Then there is the puppy. Cheyenne is about 40 pounds of rompin stompin energy now. Keeping up with her needs will be interesting. But at least I'm not doing this in the middle of the summer.

I talked to the doc about rehabbing the knee. We have decided that since I have a membership(largely unused)to a health club, I can proceed with my plan to walk the pool. It's 5 feet deep and the deepest and I'm tall enough to make it. I think it's a good way to do some aerobic exercise without putting a lot of stress on my joints. I am not a joiner so going to a class is not something I want to do until I know more about it.

I'm still working on my plan to lose some weight. I now have some help and there is now another problem. I am compulsive. Not just with my eating but with buying stuff off the internet. I shopped some when I was younger. I enjoyed it. But after having the back problem crop up, and then the knee, I don't go out much. But you could spend a year's salary on the internet and never break a sweat. Drink a cup of coffee and spend a couple of thousand dollars on stuff I don't need. I haven't done that yet. No, I'm doing it gradually. A book here, a pair of shoes there. You'd think I had money. But I guess I would if I didn't spend it so quickly. So that is another compulsion to work on.

I'll be back with news soon.

My knee

I have been told I don't look 65. I try to keep myself up and look nice and not frumpy. But no one told my knee that it isn't supposed to be 65. I had surgery on my right knee a few years ago. I had my meniscus trimmed where it was torn. The surgery was day surgery but the whole thing was a total bummer and I hated every minute of it. So I wasn't a happy camper when I began to realize that the left knee is bad now. I'm sure it's the meniscus but I will have to see the Dr. and have an MRI and find out the extent of the problem. I'm sure to be off my feet for a few days and with a puppy that will be a pain in, well, a pain in the knee. Right now I can't kneel on my left knee even in the soft bed so I'm sure I need help.

I am also glad to see Spring. I found it hard to get through this winter. I was really affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder. The dark, cold days were very depressing to me. So I am glad to see Spring. Maybe I can sit in the sun and recuperate from the surgery.

OK I lied

If you look closely at the photo of me you will see that I am terrifically well endowed in the upper chest department. What you don't see is visible when you compare my current pic with the one on the blog main page. And then if you go lower you'll find that my belly is large enough to look pregnant. My hips in the back are football size and there isn't much of a butt. There are just huge upper arms, a lot of extra weight in my neck and on the back of my shoulders. There are rolls everywhere.

I lied when I said I was not growing old, gracefully. I have fought the battle of the bulge for 47 years or ever since I began choosing my own meals. I was in college when I singlehandedly changed the freshman 5 to the freshman 15 pounds gained. And you probably wouldn't have called me thin to start with. I was fairly normal in size for my height. Things became radically worse for me weight wise when I had my first child and gained 51 pounds. The yoyo started then. I was able to lose most of the weight but never again did I feel slim and attractive. During the rest of the time I was married I had 2 more children and didn't gain much weight. But in between, I went up and down. I tried Weight Watchers, Adkins, low protien and high carb. I tried exercise clubs and just swimming or walking. Alas to no avail. One thing I do excel at is quitting.

I am afraid now. I have the belly fat that the doctors say causes heart attacks and strokes. And knowing that hasn't made me do the weight loss that I need. There are a huge number of things I want to do. The weight, paired with the spinal problem and the knee problem is hindering me and causing me to be tired, in pain, and generally down. And the weight is making the knee and back worse. I am in pretty bad pain a lot of the time to the point where sleep isn't easy to come by. I need structure and I don't have the money for even weight watchers. I did try Jennie Craig and found it very expensive and very hard to stick with. So as a last ditch attempt, tomorrow I am going to Overeaters Anonymous to a meeting. I know about OA from having fought the AA battle. I am not an alcoholic but during the ending of the marriage that was where I ended up. Everyone needs help sometimes. I need it now. I need to discover how to overcome the eating addiction and put some joy back into my life.

I will not break anonymity. I will not discuss anything on the blog about the OA experience except to share with you who read the blog what is happening to me as a result of the meetings. I will be happy if someone with a similar peoblem is helped. But I will be writing about the experience to help me. I really need it.

I found some pics

Exercise at home. What a concept. I read all the time that the more muscle you have the higher your metabolism. So I guess laziness is out for a while.

There are a couple of exercises that may need some explanation. One thing is, if you don't have hand weights, a couple of Campbells chunky soup cans work nicely. I have found that if I do something often it isn't a bad idea to get the real thing. But if you aspire to be superwoman you can always life gallons of milk. This works for the exercise lying down. That particular one is supposed to work on your arms and upper chest.

The exercise with the ball can be done with a footstool. I don't recommend using anything with hard edges for obvious reasons. Likewise the push up exercise. I just can't do push ups at the angle the model is doing them. So I go into the bathroom and use the edge of the counter. The kitchen countertops are too high. If you are already pretty strong why not try the edge of a chair, coffee table, or bench. Just make sure they are very sturdy.

The hip lift is supposed to be good for the stomach and back and I am going to do a lot of that one. Also, while in the bathroom or kitchen I grab the edge of the counter and lift my body till I'm on my toes. Can't hurt to have great legs.

I hope there are a few of these things that might be helpful.

Cabin Fever

One of the things that I have a greater problem with since I'm older is SAD. Seasonal affective disorder is a real problem for some people if you read the literature on depression. The winter months take a toll on folks by making the sun hard to come by and making the time spent outside uncomfortable. So we don't get enough vitamin D. According to About.com's article on longevity, just going outside is a good thing and we should consider it a part of out good health regime.

Here is what they say:

Life expectancy can be increased simply by going outside. See, what happens when you go outside is that your skin gets exposed to sunlight. That exposure triggers cells in your skin to produce Vitamin D. This vitamin (really a prohormone, but let's not worry about that here) is essential for bone health and is turning out to be important in depression, heart disease, diabetes and just about everything.

Some estimate that 50% of adults have low levels of vitamin D, because we simply don't get outside that much (sitting by a window doesn't count, the glass filters too much of the sunlight). This is a shame, because maintaining vitamin D levels has to be the easiest and cheapest way to improve your health and increase your life expectancy. Getting outside for just 15 minutes a day and exposing your hands and face to sunlight is enough to maintain vitamin D levels in most cases.

I have promised the blog and myself to find some exercises to do at home. I have to keep them simple because anything elaborate and I'll quit. I think I can, for a while, do something outside for 15 minutes a day. When the heavy heat of summer comes I may have to rethink. But for now, outside is a good thing. Of course the time outside doesn't have to be all at once. Walking through a mall parking lot to go shopping can count for a few of those minutes. Just think, a new excuse to shop!

Not graceful, but trying

When I was in college I got an A in weight training. At the time it meant lifting weights. Not training my pounds. Anyway I got an A. Now that I am 65 there are so many options for exercise available that the only thing I am sure of is that I might do well at weight training. The aerobic versus the anaerobic is a discussion of many people as well as many years. Both seem to do good things and have many advocates. So what to do? I went to aarp for an answer.


| For older women, the type of exercise you do may be more important than how often you do it.

That's the message of a surprising new study by Canadian researchers that found that women who started a once-a-week strength-training program were more likely to stick with it — and reap the physical and mental benefits — than those who started a twice-a-week program.


— Charriau Pierre/Getty Images
More importantly, older women who built muscle strength through biceps curls, leg lifts, squats and the like showed much greater improvement in mental focus and ability to make decisions and resolve conflicts than women who did only balance and toning exercises.

Published this month in the Archives of Internal Medicine, the study is a one-year follow-up of 155 women ages 65 to 75 who participated in an earlier strength-training exercise program in 2007-2008.

I want to lose weight. I want to be smart. I want to be healthy. I think I can do once a week. And I have a membership to a gym(which I don't currently use). For now I have an answer.

But, I know that there are things to do at home to enhance strength and stamina. And I plan on researching and sharing them. I am working with spinal stenosis and a torn miniscus in the left knee. And my right hip talks to me sometimes.(I don't answer) I well attempt to come up with some well rounded exercises for the well rounded like me. And some things to do to maybe make walking fun. And I'll share what I've learned and also include some pics. I am willing at this point to do anything to change my health and looks. I started to monitor my fashions and I have had great fun with that. I have also learned to consider options I had previously ignored without spending any more money. One of the best things for me has been to take pics of myself and post them. I can no longer pretend when looking at the pics that I am not fat.

So this blog will document struggles with weight, aging, injuries, and self knowledge. I hope it will help me and you too.

How do you know?

I have been reading about aging on some of the internet sites. These sites mostly involve illness and whether or not you have it. Here is one I thought was interesting.
How Do I Know If It's Depression?
Someone who is depressed has feelings of sadness or anxiety that last for weeks at a time. He or she may also experience–

•Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
•Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and/or helplessness
•Irritability, restlessness
•Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
•Fatigue and decreased energy
•Difficulty concentrating, remembering details and making decisions
•Insomnia, early–morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
•Overeating or appetite loss
•Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
•Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not get better, even with treatment
This is from the centers for disease control. And I have thoughts about the individual questions.
1.Feelings of hopelessness,etc.---Yep, I've been there. After all, I was married for about 22 years, I've been fat for many years, I have spinal stenosis and a torn meniscus, and I'm 65. Arriving at this point in my life without feelings of hopelessness would be a miracle. I have lost all of my family except the kids who went and moved away and there is no hope they will be back living here. But amazingly enough, I can't say I am pessimistic. I have been way down down in my life and it always gotten better.
2.I am guilty, worthless, and helpless. Just ask my mom(deceased but still around in my mind) and my ex.
3.Irritability, restlessness. I am a woman, hormones and all. And we have had the hottest summer and the coldest winter in years. Can anyone say cabin fever?
4.Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable. I definitely fit here. But I wonder if the huge mess in my hobbie room which must be cleaned up has anything to do with it.
5.Fatigue and decreased energy. I am 65, 100 pounds overweight with a bad knee and back, Nuff said.
6.Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions. Yes, No, Yes
Sometimes I have difficulty concentrating, especially when moving from one task to another. I always remember details if I remember anything at all. I still haven't chosen the paint colors for the den.
7.Insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping. No problem with insomnia. Early morning wakefulness is something I'll have to take up with the puppy. And excessive sleeping- not with my bladder.
8.Overeating or appetite loss. I got the first one. Had it for years. Would rather have been plagued with the second.
9.Persistent thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts. Nope and nope. I have, however thought of killing people I don't like, but I couldn't do it.
10.Persistent aches, pains, headaches, etc. I am 65. I have back problems, a puppy, and a significant other. That should explain everything.

I have had problems with depression. If I start wanting to cry for no reason and it doesn't go away or improve I may take meds. I have taken meds for depression for years. I went through therapy with a truly loving and brilliant person. Some of the messages that had me down early in life are still with me. But I have learned to deal. I actually am off the meds right now and I notice no difference.

I've put a lot of thought into what might make me prone to depression. And I decided that I am not so much prone to depression as I am not able to tolerate intense psychological pain. Physical pain I can handle no sweat but the emotional stuff kills. So Now I am going to work on that and see where it gets me.

This is me, yesterday

Today, I have a sour look on my face, a sore throat, red rimmed eyes, a headache, body aches, a stopped up nose, and I am in my bathrobe. I am going to stay in my bathrobe. I am glad no one can see me but the sweetheart who gave me this cold to start with.

Sometimes I wonder if the weather affects us more than I used to think. Brian says one fellow he works with comes to work saying when it will snow or rain. It seems his knee bothers him when the weather turns ugly. And I know this heavy duty winter we have had this year has coincided with my back and knee hurting worse than usual. I really don't understand either. If I stay in the house where it's warm I still react to the weather almost as if I were outside a lot. I wonder how my body knows about the barometer when I am in an artificial environment.

I have discovered some things that do help me. And I am pursuing them. I take vitamins every day. And I am trying to do more things that are good for me. I had an epiphany the other day. I have read it, and heard it, and not registered it. But God gave me one body. This one. It's the most important thing I own. When it ceases, so do I. I could have been taking care of myself all of these years but I wasn't. Ok, so I flubbed. Now I am trying to make up for some of the stuff I did to myself and didn't do for myself. We'll see how it goes.

Lists Wednesday Favorite Artists

I have long considered myself an artist. But I would be hard put to come up with the favorite artist's name because I don't have one. At least not one of the type that sets up an easel and paints. So here are my favorite artists.

Jodi Creager and her husband create dolls and the worlds that they inhabit. They are able to just about make anything. And they have created a beautiful life together.

Marilyn Radzat is also a doll creator and takes my vision into a world of color and design that I could never imagine on my own.

Michelle Obama is a favorite of mine for her ability to see the most important tasks in the world and to point the way to their being done.

James Cameron takes me to worlds that I need to keep my life on track.

Cate Blanchett also takes me to other worlds and lives in them for my understanding.

My children create lives that I am in awe of. I often wonder where they have gotten their ability to see the world and to interpret it.

I believe that everyone is an artist in their own way. The blogs I read show me new artists every day.

Please

Please to all the powers in the Universe don't let me get old enough to think this is OK. Iknow I don't like looking at my back end but this is proof that I should.

Darkness and light

I'm going to see the Black Swan today. I was told that it was a dark movie so I plan to do something fun this evening... I don't know what. I am thinking that life is less about aging and more about balance. I am prone to stay away from things that make me nervous. Psychological thrillers, etc. I think I may be missing something.

quinoa

I’m keen, you’re keen, we’re all keen on quinoa!" People with high cholesterol will be singing this tune once they realize the benefits of quinoa (pronounced "KEEN-wah"), a South American seed that serves as a tasty and healthful stand-in for rice or couscous. One cup of cooked quinoa has 15 percent less carbohydrates and 60 percent more protein than a comparable amount of brown rice; it also has 25 percent more fiber, which can help lower blood cholesterol.
I am one of many people who have a lot of medications to take. I am also one of many whose perscriptions are not fully covered(donut hole on Medicare). I've cut down on the amount of cholesterol meds I am taking and am actively seeking other and less costly means to lower cholesterol. I'm also taking a niacin that says no flush and so far so good. Anyway, so far so good. I haven't been back to see my cute doc and break the news to him. i'm not looking forward to the news he will have for me.

I've been reading about the benefits of meditation for lowering blood pressure. I think it is a great idea. I also understand that some people can thoroughly relax and shut down the mental factory. But I'm having a heck of a time doing it. It seems that I can't quite focus on one thing long enough to overcome the need to focus. I'll start saying a mantra, then decide I don't like that one and sit there for the perscribed time while trying to think of a better word to use. Not so relaxing.

And I get bored. And I have an extremely low tolerance for boredom.

I play Mah Jongg. It helps.

Ideas? I'm open-----

Was

I was not a small person. I have never been a small person. But there was a time a long, long time ago when I did have a decent figure. Now I have the rough equivalent of 2 people living inside this body.

I was a person who was terribly inhibited by a fear of failure. It is amazing what messages a person carries around with them. From childhood right through my marriage I heard messages that said, "not good enough, will never be good enough". As I said, that is what I heard. It may not have been exactly what was said, but it was what I heard. And coming from my mother and husband, I found it easy to believe them. So not trying to better myself was my response. Not once did I look at what I was doing and say, I can do better-for me. For making myself feel better, look better, have a prettier surrounding, have a more pleasant and gracious manner, etc. I bought into the messages that I heard. In my head.

The posted pics are the last ones of me at the lake in a bathing suit. About 6 or 7 years ago. Since I have eaten myself into true fatness, sat on my butt, and allowed myself to become a couch potato that wouldn't interest me if I were meeting myself for the first time. I use the back problem to excuse apathy. And I do find it hard to become passionate about anything. Notice that posting is not always quick.

So here I am, 65, fat, out of shape, out of passion, and damned mad about it because it is really all my fault. Today I will walk more than usual. Today I will shove aside the things I mentally let hold me back. Tomorrow, I don't know. Today I do.

How to do it.

I find that I am more than ever concerned about fashion. Of course that may be partly because I am more than ever not happy about my body. I am definitely in the morbidly obese range and I am facing a Catch-22 conundrum. I feel bad about the way my body looks without clothing. And I am not pleased with the way it looks with clothing. I feel really depressed when I see the pics of myself. I remind myself that this is what others are seeing when they look at me.

So I want to try to make some changes in those two things. But I said I feel bad, remember? And I feel depresses, remember? Depression is one of the biggest parts of feeling tired all the time for me, and maybe for you. I am on an antidepressant. I am also on thyroid meds and other things. Some may cause the weight to stick like glue. But I am also so in love with the sofa that I don't want to get off of it. Not that it is so comfortable, but the overcoming of inertia is really difficult. I am looking at this problem from the perspective of age now.

Fashion-Age These are two things that I don't put together. But I have discovered that Age does go along very well with style. And since I am not good at style I am using a method to help myself along.

1. I cleaned out the stuff in my closet that doesn't fit well, doesn't feel good, is shabby, is worn out, or I just don't like.

2. I am left with a lot of things that make me feel fat but at least they are presentable. And as time goes by I may figure out what to do with them.

3. I have looked at lots of fashion mags(I love them). And I have lamented that the models are toothpicks. For real. But I finally figured out how to use some of the things I find in there. I just take a pic of something I think is pretty, tear it out of the mag. I post it on a clipboard in my closet. And I start looking for things I have that might help make a copy of the look. Of course, I can't let my expectations get too high.

4. I have discovered that there are some looks that I like a lot which will require a change in my body. I am hoping that will be easier now that I have set goals.

5. I have also discovered that while some of the young things whose blogs I follow can go out and purchase stuff at full price when they want to, I simply can't. I also follow some blogs of girls who are thrifters and that is the way I shall have to go. I love vintage but there must have been no heavy women in the 40's. Of course, since I can sew, I plan to make a couple of vintagy pieces.

So far, this is where I am. Suggestions are very welcome.

I am writing

I am writing more about my attempts at fashion in another blog. Fashion seems to be different from style. And the blog is somewhat about my age. But my age is always a shock to me.

Until I get up from the sofa and try to do something.

I once heard an actor who was asked if it feels different being 40 say "It hurts".

I thought at the time, yeah right. If I were doing crazy stunts and growing wrinkles for the world to see it would hurt me too. However, not hurting at 40 was just postponing the time when it would hurt. There is a rather sad ad on TV about living with RA. It asks the question;"Are you existing or are you living?" That question can have all sorts of other connotations. I have to ask that question about spinal stenosis, torn minuscus, fat, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, being totally out of shape, allergies, and other pains in the _________.(you fill in blank)

And I have come to some surprising conclusions. I am allowing the physical problems to end my living and to put me on the just existing list. All of my life I have prided myself on being an intelligent, pragmatic person. I read and hear that moving around and becoming involved in something is the best way to promote good health and a general good attitude. This, in turn, promotes improvement in the things I have listed. So why, with the intelligence I think I have, have I not been doing those things that would make my life better? I am working on an answer to that. In the meantime, I have made some new resolutions. You notice I didn't say New Year's resolutions. That is because if I associate something with the new year, after Feb I might say to myself;"Not New Years anymore. I'm done" I am so terrific at letting myself off the hook. So If amyone has suggestions for overcoming apathy, I would love to hear them.