Friday, May 27, 2016


Now that I am 70 years old, I have discovered me. My childhood was not one of those happy healthy experiences. My mother suffered from some personality or emotional difficulties. And then I married a man who had his own set. I thought I was the one who was not healthy and, indeed, that was true to an extent. But the problems I have had all of my life are based on a set of assumptions that make no sense when examined. I thought I was basically flawed. Not so. I am basically good and have a few flaws.

And I thought I couldn't take care of myself and needed the spouse to take care of me. Again, not so. I ended up with a very young man who had problems every bit as troubling as mine. And for a long time I took care of us both. I thought I wasn't likeable or loveable. Don't you know, another falsehood. My young man has grown to love me . We have been together 27 years and we are still strong. I thought love must be temporary. Nope. It can endure. I thought I was stuck with my faults and personality problems. Amazingly, I have found they can be dealt with.

And now I am happy. But I have learned to be happy. Happiness doesn't just drop in one's lap. It has a lot to do with one's view of life. I've been through a lot. And I survived. And flourished. I thought I could go back to situations and change them. Nope. But I don't choose to forget the past. But rather than feeling sorry for myself about difficult times, I choose to look at my survival, growth, learning, and victory as what has made me grateful, happy, and comfortable with me. Boy have I been lucky!