Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Might try

I'm a beginning juicer. And I'm looking to eat better quality foods. And I'm broke. So I was glad to find the list of regrowable veggies. Several are good for juicing and all are good for eating. I use cabbage for several things and tomorrow I'm making some soup with cabbage in it. I'm going to try to find out more about regrowing on the internet. I'd feel a real sense of accomplishment to be able to grow some of my own food.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Ya never know

I've got a couple of things to say about my status. One of them is that I seem to be retaining food. I'm diabetic as you all know. For some reason I've had trouble dropping my love and devotion for sweets. Then my slim and gorgeous boyfriend brought home 4 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. I don't like the thin mints and that was two boxes but the other two are gone and the mints are in the freezer. I'm going to throw them away if he doesn't want any. And I also ate all of the honey buns I got him to take to work. Damn. I just got the idea to go on a diet. A couple of weeks ago. And I'm doing worse than ever. So today I'd like to talk a bit about self-sabotage.

I'm chronically tired. I'm sure some of the problem has to do with my eating habits. I'm still able to register some decent blood sugars most of the time. But I'm also anemic and have a lot of pain. Tired.
There may be a lot of things I can do about this but I'm not doing them. I wonder if a lifetime of self loathing has harmed my ability to take care of myself. I have noticed that when I look at myself in the mirror before showering, I sort of skip over the part from the chin down. I'm always happier when I get my clothes on because stuff is less obvious. Don't get me wrong, I still look fat, but not as bad.

Today I'm going to the grocery store. Last night I got out a couple of high protein books and I'm searching out recipes. It's time to start doing what I should have done a year ago. 5 years ago. You just never know when you must learn new tricks.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Just one of those things

That's just one of those things I don't do well on. I wear stretch pants. Not tight stretch pants. But they have a lot of stretch. So when I began to notice that a couple of pairs felt snugger than usual I started to worry. I have been dealing with diabetes and the blood values have been OK. But the calorie counts have been off the charts. That is if I were charting them. Which I probably should do. You can cut down on carbs by adding lots of fat. And that is part of what I've done. I'd lost a few pounds when the diagnosis came down but they are back. Just like the damned Energiser bunny. I am looking at my intake and it's scary. I eat too many carbs still. I eat often at night and it's almost always something not good for me. But when I try to change the eating habits I stress out and then I want to eat more. And then I lay around a lot and let the fatty food go to my belly and butt. And I'm aware of this. I'm also aware that I need to change the behavior. So I don't do it. I'm going to have to find a way to change without becoming the bitch I am so good at being.
One of the ways I am aware that I've gained is that my back and knees are hurting more. It's winter. I blamed it on the cold weather. Dumb. I've read that for every 30 pounds lost the diabetic problems are reduced by half. I'd be half as likely to lose vision, or to have trouble with infections. It's time to face me. I claim the crown as Queen Procrastinator. I need to lose the crown.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Everything I love

I became diabetic and began giving up a lot of things. Most of them are on the right side of the list above. Some I'm still doing. I still get an occasional fast food meal. I drink a coke once in a while. I fry a few things and I use processed meats. But, I believe I'm going in the right direction with my diet. I'm way down the scale on the carb intake. I have to be because of the diabetes. I have started juicing several times a week. I'm reading labels and choosing foods to buy more carefully. And I haven't lost a single pound. That leads me to believe that it's not just what I eat, but I have to notice how much. And when. And how my intake isn't balanced by the outgo of energy. You know, I used to think when I retired I'd be able to do the things I love. Oh, well.