Sunday, May 31, 2009

Graceful today

Today I had some stomach issues. Basically a problem that can be worked out. But I was reading about some things that cause stomach issues and got onto some ads for weight loss. Wow, do those people think we are stupid. There was one that guaranteed I would be in bikini shape within 4 weeks by following a few simple rules. I would love to take them down for making a promise like that. It would take major surgery in which they graft another body to my head to make that happen.

Also, I read that if I take the advice of this or that diet doctor, I will lose many pounds in this year. See in the new year smaller. Liposuction won't do it, surgery won't do it but this pill will? I think not. And by buying a diet book I can make myself young and firm quickly. After all, the 29 year old did it. And now she can have kids!

If I eat spinach and broccoli I can bring my blood pressure down, avoid cancer, and lose lots of weight. Eating cinnamon and chili powder will help with the weight loss and stomach issues. Garlic can help the heart and Cheerios will help lower cholesterol. Drinking milk will keep bones healthy and an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Drinking apple cider vinegar every day cures stomach ailments. There is even a drug now on the market that helps you grow eyelashes, longer and darker. A side affect is that the skin around the eyes might turn brown, but who cares? Having long eyelashes is more important. There is a product called smart water. But the people advertising it don't appear particularly smart.

If you want to get up and go in the morning you can get your get up and go from an energy drink. Who needs coffee? It's only cheaper. If you get dehydrated, there are lots of sports drinks out there to choose from. If you jiggle, there are creams made by nearly every company to tighten and firm your skin. You can even hide from the sun with some of the creams. You can lower cholesterol with margerine substitute. Of course margerine is a substitute for butter which now seems to be better for us.

There is a non-fat milk that has been enhanced by adding milk solids, adding to the calories but not the fat. And just the other day I found myself looking at a fat free angel food cake. Of course there never was fat in angel food cake.

It seems we are being conditioned to solve any physical problem with food of one sort or another while being told to lose weight for bikini season. We were, at one time, told to take a pill for what ails you. Then they started listing side effects and people wanted more natural ways to solve the body problems. So I suppose the pills are out and foods with lots of additives are in. Aren't we lucky to live in such an enlightened age.

Next post. WATER

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Not growing old, and fumbling, and stumbling

This is my son. Isn't he cute. That is if a 6'3" father of two can be cute. John took after me in some ways that I will claim now whether he agrees or not. He is smart. I am smart, though I hide it well. John has always been one of the most curious persons I have ever known. So have I. John loves to learn. So do I. And John loves to have fun. With wife and daughters. Anyway he can. So do I. I thought that growing older would mean becoming mature. That meant becoming stodgy and extremely unhappy. No more fun. Boy was I wrong. I am having more fun and I am happier than I've ever been. Now my give a hoot factor is about at 0. If someone says something I don't like, oh well. If someone tries to put me down(ex)oh well. If I see a problem I can't fix, oh well. It will still be here tomorrow and I'll work on it then. I can use my God given intelligence. I can use the pragmatism that came from raising kids and from age. I can use my curiosity, creativity, or even my Scarlett O'Hara tomorrow. Anyway I think getting older is a hoot. Which is a good thing considering the alternative.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Guess what.

There are so many bad things about getting old. Let's see. Aches, pains, fixed incomes, memory loss and and ?

Thursday, May 21, 2009


To my fellow fabulous women, I have been going through the spring fashion mags. Yesterday I received my copy of MORE. This magazine is supposed to be for older and more interesting women who wish to remain fashionable. And they do use older women in their articles. However, the clothing that is shown often is sleeveless. I have wings where I used to have arms. Sleeveless tops would allow me to take off and fly. If I had the energy to flap my wings.

The new spring clothes have waistlines. Some are down on the hips. Some are at normal waist height. And some are just below the bustline. (For my age group, that is normal waist height.) Anyway, since I have two bellies I wonder at which height to purchase waistlines.

The short skirt is in. Hip, Hip, Hip. I happen to have a big couple of bellies and the short skirt should stick out about 6 inches in the front. No, that won't do. OK, let's talk knee length. Now the knee length skirt is a pencil skirt or, get this, a skirt this is big at the top and small at the bottom. Of course there is a tiny waist on top which again I don't know where to put. OK. Mark that one off. I haven't even gotten to the problem with the legs. There are often a few things on our legs that no one wants to see. Especially us. Veins, scars, and sags do not a good legline make. Longer skirts were nice but are out. Way out.

Pants have become really odd. The MC Hammer look is being sported by the likes of Jennifer Lopez. These pants have hip waists on some and real waists on others. No matter where the waist, they are butt ugly on a woman's figure. They are the best example of a garment that looks better on a hanger than on a human. Designers are also showing really tight nice slacks. These look wonderful on models. Except that they remind me of high water pants. They say it's all about proportion. Obviously it's not about my proportion. But I guess we knew that. So what are we to do about pants for Spring? Wear last year's pants with something new.

Shoes are totally out there. The heels are so high and the decorations are so obvious that it would need no other adornment on the body. However, here in the South, in the Middle America group, where in the world would I wear 4 inch heels with huge bows or with lots of straps, or with clunky platforms? There would have to be an inaugural in my back yard to get me into any sort of heels. I think they are the epitome of discomfort.

So what do we spend our meager pennies on this Spring? You notice I left out shorts entirely. How about a new purse?

Friday, May 8, 2009

Brand New Stuff

Hello to my blog. I haven't been so good to keep up with this blog. I am the world's greatest procrastinator. And lately I am struggling with a lot of things.

I am trying to get back into sculpting and hoping to become good enough at it to sell.

I am trying to deal with a lack of income and the depression that it causes for me and for my sig other.

I am fat. I went to the Dr. Weight was up, not by a little. Here I thought I was doing well. Obviously it is really easy to fool myself. I know from reading every article that I can find that there are certain things that need to happen. The first is to move around more. But being fat, out of shape, and almost not old makes that item difficult. I could make a list of the things I have read about losing weight. I dislike exercise to the point that it would be at the bottom. But I have spinal stenosis which causes some pain during the day, especially after a lot of movement. An excuse? I have used it as one. I am not jumping on the running bandwagon. Actually I am not jumping at all. And that may be part of the problem. Standing is a problem. So I'll have to sit and exercise some. But I do have a mini-trampoline. I saw it on tv and thought that I might make it work. Have yet to try it. It was no longer in my mind by the time I got one.

I have decided that there is only one thing to do about exercise. I will have to do some strengthening exercises all through the day. I saw that one of the celebs does 1,000 push-ups a day. Time? Energy? But needed to keep the job. If the exercise works, it is really cheap to do. Maybe it could go on the list. Maybe I could lift a few 5 pound weights a few times a day. I know that muscle uses more calories than fat. That too is part of my problem. I have almost no muscle. Maybe that should be put on the list of things to do.

One thing I have done is to purchase(in spite of no income) some protein powders from a company called unjury. This powder is often used by people who have had a stomach bypass. I really like it and I am finally getting more protein. It is truly difficult to get enough protein from bread.(my favorite thing) The protein powder is whey isolate, the purest form of protein except for egg whites. There are several flavors. Mixes well, tastes good. Now for the bad part. I am in so much of a hurry to get to losing weight that I use too much of the powder. Imaging an overload of protein. My body doesn't know what to do with it. So double dosing is out. Rethinking is in.

I have thought about joining a health club when finances improve. I have been a member of 4 health clubs at some time during my life. It doesn't last for me. I would like to swim. But I don't want to try on a suit. I believe that qualifies as a catch-22. My upper body is where the weight is so it is a problem for the heart. I had a friend who said she was healthier than me because allllll of her overweight is in her butt. And sadly it is true. Damn. So lots more decisions have to be made and made now. Knowing me, it will be put off. I have to stop that!!!!!!!!!!!