Wednesday, February 9, 2011

How do you know?

I have been reading about aging on some of the internet sites. These sites mostly involve illness and whether or not you have it. Here is one I thought was interesting.
How Do I Know If It's Depression?
Someone who is depressed has feelings of sadness or anxiety that last for weeks at a time. He or she may also experience–

•Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
•Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and/or helplessness
•Irritability, restlessness
•Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
•Fatigue and decreased energy
•Difficulty concentrating, remembering details and making decisions
•Insomnia, early–morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
•Overeating or appetite loss
•Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
•Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not get better, even with treatment
This is from the centers for disease control. And I have thoughts about the individual questions.
1.Feelings of hopelessness,etc.---Yep, I've been there. After all, I was married for about 22 years, I've been fat for many years, I have spinal stenosis and a torn meniscus, and I'm 65. Arriving at this point in my life without feelings of hopelessness would be a miracle. I have lost all of my family except the kids who went and moved away and there is no hope they will be back living here. But amazingly enough, I can't say I am pessimistic. I have been way down down in my life and it always gotten better.
2.I am guilty, worthless, and helpless. Just ask my mom(deceased but still around in my mind) and my ex.
3.Irritability, restlessness. I am a woman, hormones and all. And we have had the hottest summer and the coldest winter in years. Can anyone say cabin fever?
4.Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable. I definitely fit here. But I wonder if the huge mess in my hobbie room which must be cleaned up has anything to do with it.
5.Fatigue and decreased energy. I am 65, 100 pounds overweight with a bad knee and back, Nuff said.
6.Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions. Yes, No, Yes
Sometimes I have difficulty concentrating, especially when moving from one task to another. I always remember details if I remember anything at all. I still haven't chosen the paint colors for the den.
7.Insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping. No problem with insomnia. Early morning wakefulness is something I'll have to take up with the puppy. And excessive sleeping- not with my bladder.
8.Overeating or appetite loss. I got the first one. Had it for years. Would rather have been plagued with the second.
9.Persistent thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts. Nope and nope. I have, however thought of killing people I don't like, but I couldn't do it.
10.Persistent aches, pains, headaches, etc. I am 65. I have back problems, a puppy, and a significant other. That should explain everything.

I have had problems with depression. If I start wanting to cry for no reason and it doesn't go away or improve I may take meds. I have taken meds for depression for years. I went through therapy with a truly loving and brilliant person. Some of the messages that had me down early in life are still with me. But I have learned to deal. I actually am off the meds right now and I notice no difference.

I've put a lot of thought into what might make me prone to depression. And I decided that I am not so much prone to depression as I am not able to tolerate intense psychological pain. Physical pain I can handle no sweat but the emotional stuff kills. So Now I am going to work on that and see where it gets me.

1 comment:

  1. Have had varying problems with depression most of my life, so I can relate to your post. An adult child (?) has moved back in with us in a very tiny house. Factor in one of the worst winters we've had, close living quarters and all of us sharing a cold/cough/flu/heebie-jeebies, it's difficult to stay positive. Child is going though her own problems and is emotionally/maturity challenged. I have to keep thinking that spring is on the way and that is bound to help. Also, said child has a job so that is helping her somewhat. I hope you can find something to help you to deal with the emotional stuff. That get us every time...